Holy crap can life throw some curve balls.
So without getting into details – life in general has been very hectic the last couple of weeks. It’s been building to a boiling point for several months. In the last 5 months there has been a death, a marriage, a family feud, I started smoking, a family addition (more on that later, maybe) a hurricane, a trip to the mountains, and a couple of falls on the way home, a bit of personal self-learning. I quit smoking. Not in any specific order.
I now have, for the first time in my life, a preferred auto-body shop. I’ve never needed one before, but so far, so good. I’d prefer to not need one, but alas, I have one. Why might I now need an auto-body shop? Because our brand new, less than a week old car had some issues. It’s sitting at the auto-body shop with the drive-off tag still attached. Almost $8,000 of estimated damage. In two claims. Thankfully. Had the damage been a single claim, it could have turned out very bad for us, with the car being totaled and a replacement not exactly working out. (Blame that marriage thing I mentioned earlier)
The wife and I went on a trip to Tennessee a couple of weeks ago, a last vacation for the foreseeable future. Not that we won’t be taking small trips, etc, but we have none planned. We enjoyed ourselves greatly! The car did not enjoy the trip so much however. The Saturday before we left for our trip, we traded up our 2015 Soul for a 2018 model. Score! New car smell, tiny little issues all gone, OOOH SHINEY! New, real Rims! By Thursday, I had backed into a tree. Saturday on the return trip home, an old woman t-boned us in a parking lot. Not fun. Not so shiny any more. Not my greatest moments. Though the delivery was quite rude, crude even in tone and volume – the words were not. Or maybe they were a bit. I was beyond pissed. I couldn’t drive the car if I wanted to, my nerves were (and to some extent still are) completely shot. I can’t stand people pulling out onto the road I’m traveling from side streets – at all.
With my nerves shot and responsibilities which include driving, I turned to that old crutch, the only horrible coping mechanism I’ve used in the past. Smoking. Cigarettes. I’ve quit again, as of Saturday Night (So about 36 hours now, as of this writing) So what’s the first thing my body does? That night, it start expunging crap from my lungs and decides that’d be a great time to give me a lung infection. So now, I’m sitting my computer, coughing and writing this because I’m too sore and physically exhausted to do anything else. And I have about 200 hours of work to get done. *sigh*
I’ve done a lot of “growing the fuck up” over the last 5 months. A lot. My mother passed away less than a month before my wedding. I’ll never forgive myself for that, though I know there was nothing I could do. My mother’s husband had lost almost everything taking care of her, and over the last three years or so was completely unable to leave her alone for more than a few minutes at a time. My mother’s family, completely inept and incapable of ever understanding the drain she put on him, decided to see things that weren’t there. To put it nicely. It was bad enough she wouldn’t be at my wedding. Then my wedding was cut considerably smaller because of those expenses. Wouldn’t her family help out too? Oh hell no. My crowd funding got called a scam, I was called a liar and thief. Her husband was insulted multiple times. Oh, and there was a murder investigation. No charges were brought against anyone, nor was there any reason to. I don’t care how old a person is, when they have a good relationship with their parents and they die, it’s fucking hard. Needless to say, I’m *done* with my uncles and aunts, etc from my mother’s side. Those people, I wouldn’t hit in the forehead with a penny if they asked for help from me.
wife’s family came together for my wife and I at our wedding and made it one of the best days of my life, and I’m sure it was one of my wife’s best days too. I learned a lot about humanity, my new family, and myself when I got married. Amazing people, the whole lot of em. It’s great how her family was able to help us make it such a wonderful event. Our friends and family are the greatest. So many things changed when She and I became one in the eyes of the law. It seems like every time I turn around there’s something new that we must do, cannot do, or should/shouldn’t do because we’re married. Taxes, Insurance, Loans, even just a bank account… so many things change (some for the better) – all because we no pronounce we are legally one. So weird. More weird is the fact it’s all just financial stuff that seems to really change. I could rant on that alone for two posts. I wouldn’t change a bit of that if it meant not being married.
Technically the hurricane was closer to 6 months ago now. It’s effects are still being felt. Our garden is in complete and utter disrepair. When the hurricane killed my plants, I got depressed about the whole thing. Then this January, we had a hard freeze which killed off most of the rest. Partly because I didn’t plan accordingly (see above comment) We had various vegetables, herbs, and some squash plants. It was more of a “Let’s see what we can grow, and enjoy it” After all, the store is still an option. But now, we’ve come to discover that some of her several-year-old plants are now dead from the freeze. *Gut punch* Not too bad, but it’s just one thing after another. Not to mention the grass, which I’m fairly certain is just obliging my thoughts on not having to mow so much, is dying around the front entry and driveway.
This isn’t too horrible, other than I need to get some rock and stepping stones, which costs money – oh and the abominable trugreen salesmen who, despite the “NO SOLICITING” sign up front, continue to bother us about our dead grass. I like my neighbor’s opinion on that, which he voiced at our latest HOA meeting. It involved a shotgun. Apparently complete and utter verbal hostility is not enough to get on their “do not talk to” list. The last one left a written door hangar (folded up and shoved in the door), started with “I read your sign” How ignorant can people be? Seriously, this makes me sad on so many levels. I digress.
Anyways, I mentioned a new addition to the family. Well, not really an addition. More of a re-introduction? My wife and I are adopting my niece – originally we just wanted her placed with us, to get her out of the foster care system. However, there was a threat that she could be taken away for nearly any reason and that adopting her would prevent that. What ever. I just want the girl to have some-what of a normal life. The longer she’s in that system, the more harm is done. We’re within a week of finalizing this, so I feel it’s OK to say so. This has brought on it’s own set of stress, complications, and curve balls. Being we’re adopting a child from the state, we must have a “home study” completed. This involves background checks, finger printing, digging up stupid shit from my past, and generally being a nuisance to us. Certain people have known, and some have been mislead to believe otherwise – I’m sorry for any deceit from this. There were reasons.
The home study has been going on since November. We told the people before they ever scheduled anything that my fiance and I would be getting married and leaving for honeymoon. And what’s right after when we get back from our honeymoon? Thanksgiving. So what does this woman try to do? Schedule the first interview while we’re gone. As in not even in the state of Florida. At that moment I knew I should had requested another worker. What has the last 5 months done for that? Proven me right. Though I’m not sure there are any workers who are less inept and incompetent. Maybe there are, maybe she’s the worse of them all. I don’t know, but I bite my tongue because I need her to do her job. She’s lost reference letters sent to her. She outright replied to a personal reference email from my wife’s mother asking who the subject of said reference is talking about. (My wifes, my nieces and my full names were in the letter) This is after we sat at our kitchen table for 4 hours trying to explain how criminal records work. One would think this person would know this already. And yes, I have misdemeanors and traffic violations, etc. Anyone ever claiming me to be perfect is not to be trust and should probably be put away. But that’s all of us.
On the lighter side of things, I’ve got a trailer to haul stuff with (and which will be holding my lawn tools while in the garage) We’ve got the property mom’s husband lives cleaned up, and some back taxes paid. And he’s on his way back to building his lawn service company. I’m on better talking terms with my siblings, and we might be getting a puppy some time in the future. Puppies are always great. Almost as great as kittehs!
So, I think I’m done ranting. Thanks for reading, chuckling, laughing, crying.