Life in general, a rant

Holy crap can life throw some curve balls.

So without getting into details – life in general has been very hectic the last couple of weeks. It’s been building to a boiling point for several months. In the last 5 months there has been a death, a marriage, a family feud, I started smoking, a family addition (more on that later, maybe) a hurricane, a trip to the mountains, and a couple of falls on the way home, a bit of personal self-learning. I quit smoking. Not in any specific order.

I now have, for the first time in my life, a preferred auto-body shop. I’ve never needed one before, but so far, so good. I’d prefer to not need one, but alas, I have one. Why might I now need an auto-body shop? Because our brand new, less than a week old car had some issues. It’s sitting at the auto-body shop with the drive-off tag still attached. Almost $8,000 of estimated damage. In two claims. Thankfully. Had the damage been a single claim, it could have turned out very bad for us, with the car being totaled and a replacement not exactly working out. (Blame that marriage thing I mentioned earlier)

The wife and I went on a trip to Tennessee a couple of weeks ago, a last vacation for the foreseeable future. Not that we won’t be taking small trips, etc, but we have none planned. We enjoyed ourselves greatly! The car did not enjoy the trip so much however. The Saturday before we left for our trip, we traded up our 2015 Soul for a 2018 model. Score! New car smell, tiny little issues all gone, OOOH SHINEY! New, real Rims! By Thursday, I had backed into a tree. Saturday on the return trip home, an old woman t-boned us in a parking lot. Not fun. Not so shiny any more. Not my greatest moments. Though the delivery was quite rude, crude even in tone and volume – the words were not. Or maybe they were a bit. I was beyond pissed. I couldn’t drive the car if I wanted to, my nerves were (and to some extent still are) completely shot. I can’t stand people pulling out onto the road I’m traveling from side streets – at all.

With my nerves shot and responsibilities which include driving, I turned to that old crutch, the only horrible coping mechanism I’ve used in the past. Smoking. Cigarettes. I’ve quit again, as of Saturday Night (So about 36 hours now, as of this writing) So what’s the first thing my body does? That night, it start expunging crap from my lungs and decides that’d be a great time to give me a lung infection. So now, I’m sitting my computer, coughing and writing this because I’m too sore and physically exhausted to do anything else. And I have about 200 hours of work to get done. *sigh*

I’ve done a lot of “growing the fuck up” over the last 5 months. A lot. My mother passed away less than a month before my wedding. I’ll never forgive myself for that, though I know there was nothing I could do. My mother’s husband had lost almost everything taking care of her, and over the last three years or so was completely unable to leave her alone for more than a few minutes at a time. My mother’s family, completely inept and incapable of ever understanding the drain she put on him, decided to see things that weren’t there. To put it nicely. It was bad enough she wouldn’t be at my wedding. Then my wedding was cut considerably smaller because of those expenses. Wouldn’t her family help out too? Oh hell no. My crowd funding got called a scam, I was called a liar and thief. Her husband was insulted multiple times. Oh, and there was a murder investigation. No charges were brought against anyone, nor was there any reason to. I don’t care how old a person is, when they have a good relationship with their parents and they die, it’s fucking hard. Needless to say, I’m *done* with my uncles and aunts, etc from my mother’s side. Those people, I wouldn’t hit in the forehead with a penny if they asked for help from me.

My wife’s family came together for my wife and I at our wedding and made it one of the best days of my life, and I’m sure it was one of my wife’s best days too. I learned a lot about humanity, my new family, and myself when I got married. Amazing people, the whole lot of em. It’s great how her family was able to help us make it such a wonderful event. Our friends and family are the greatest. So many things changed when She and I became one in the eyes of the law. It seems like every time I turn around there’s something new that we must do, cannot do, or should/shouldn’t do because we’re married. Taxes, Insurance, Loans, even just a bank account… so many things change (some for the better) – all because we no pronounce we are legally one. So weird. More weird is the fact it’s all just financial stuff that seems to really change. I could rant on that alone for two posts. I wouldn’t change a bit of that if it meant not being married.

Technically the hurricane was closer to 6 months ago now. It’s effects are still being felt. Our garden is in complete and utter disrepair. When the hurricane killed my plants, I got depressed about the whole thing. Then this January, we had a hard freeze which killed off most of the rest. Partly because I didn’t plan accordingly (see above comment) We had various vegetables, herbs, and some squash plants. It was more of a “Let’s see what we can grow, and enjoy it” After all, the store is still an option. But now, we’ve come to discover that some of her several-year-old plants are now dead from the freeze. *Gut punch* Not too bad, but it’s just one thing after another. Not to mention the grass, which I’m fairly certain is just obliging my thoughts on not having to mow so much, is dying around the front entry and driveway.

This isn’t too horrible, other than I need to get some rock and stepping stones, which costs money – oh and the abominable trugreen salesmen who, despite the “NO SOLICITING” sign up front, continue to bother us about our dead grass. I like my neighbor’s opinion on that, which he voiced at our latest HOA meeting. It involved a shotgun. Apparently complete and utter verbal hostility is not enough to get on their “do not talk to” list. The last one left a written door hangar (folded up and shoved in the door), started with “I read your sign” How ignorant can people be? Seriously, this makes me sad on so many levels. I digress.

Anyways, I mentioned a new addition to the family. Well, not really an addition. More of a re-introduction? My wife and I are adopting my niece – originally we just wanted her placed with us, to get her out of the foster care system. However, there was a threat that she could be taken away for nearly any reason and that adopting her would prevent that. What ever. I just want the girl to have some-what of a normal life. The longer she’s in that system, the more harm is done. We’re within a week of finalizing this, so I feel it’s OK to say so. This has brought on it’s own set of stress, complications, and curve balls. Being we’re adopting a child from the state, we must have a “home study” completed. This involves background checks, finger printing, digging up stupid shit from my past, and generally being a nuisance to us. Certain people have known, and some have been mislead to believe otherwise – I’m sorry for any deceit from this. There were reasons.

The home study has been going on since November. We told the people before they ever scheduled anything that my fiance and I would be getting married and leaving for honeymoon. And what’s right after when we get back from our honeymoon? Thanksgiving. So what does this woman try to do? Schedule the first interview while we’re gone. As in not even in the state of Florida. At that moment I knew I should had requested another worker. What has the last 5 months done for that? Proven me right. Though I’m not sure there are any workers who are less inept and incompetent. Maybe there are, maybe she’s the worse of them all. I don’t know, but I bite my tongue because I need her to do her job. She’s lost reference letters sent to her. She outright replied to a personal reference email from my wife’s mother asking who the subject of said reference is talking about. (My wifes, my nieces and my full names were in the letter) This is after we sat at our kitchen table for 4 hours trying to explain how criminal records work. One would think this person would know this already. And yes, I have misdemeanors and traffic violations, etc. Anyone ever claiming me to be perfect is not to be trust and should probably be put away. But that’s all of us.

On the lighter side of things, I’ve got a trailer to haul stuff with (and which will be holding my lawn tools while in the garage) We’ve got the property mom’s husband lives cleaned up, and some back taxes paid. And he’s on his way back to building his lawn service company. I’m on better talking terms with my siblings, and we might be getting a puppy some time in the future. Puppies are always great. Almost as great as kittehs!

So, I think I’m done ranting. Thanks for reading, chuckling, laughing, crying.

People and Corrupt Beings

When someone has lied to themselves and been lied to so often and so much, and has started to believe those lies as truth, those lies become their truth, which blurs reality, making distinction between two subtle, and sometimes not so subtle differences indistinguishable from the lie itself.
 
Guilt among those who scream that immigrants mustn’t be deported, even though no one other than the left and the media has said they would be deported, is a major cause of their blind ignorance, and a basis for the lies they’re being fed.
 
There are people on this planet who’s sole purpose is to be as disruptive and malicious to society as a whole, that if these people were to all be silenced at once, and prevented from causing the trouble they do not know they are causing, the sheer amount of peace and understanding in the world would be overwhelming. These people may not realize, know or understand they are being this way. In their world, the things they do which are totally destructive to society and those around them, is, in all essential aspects of their life, mind and soul is what they are supposed to do to be a good person. They are “wired” wrong. They are corrupted to a point where there is no hope they can ever be responsible, productive members of any society. No matter what they do, make, or otherwise create – it will have at it’s core the destruction of the thing they are, on the surface, appearing to help, befriend, or otherwise do good for.
 
George Soros is one of these people. One of the most corrupt and evil men on this planet – and yet, if you were to take a shot-glass peek at the things he’s done for this planet, one would believe he is a selfless custodian of this planet. But he’s not. Every ounce of energy he exerts is, regardless of surface appearances, intended to corrupt, dilute, and destroy this planet. He is nothing more than a merchant of chaos and being incapable of truly helping anyone or anything.
 
The world is full of these people. They are incapable of anything but hatred, lies, and dealing with things that destroy rather than create. These people have as their fundamental goal of existence to do as much harm as they possibly can. The truly sad part is that they honestly believe they are doing good. They honestly believe their cause is the best thing for their group, their civilization and society, their country. And they’re just plain wrong.
 
They will take any input given to them, and twist it around, corrupt it, fill it with lies and deceit, and spew it back as if it were verbatim to what others have said. They will accuse any person who argues this, or attempts to point out the faults or attempts to correct them as any negative entity which they feel applies.
 
In this case, these suppresive people, these merchants of chaos, these corrupt souls, they will accuse the rest of the world of being racist, xenophobic, religion-phobic, race-supremacist, etc, without any factual proof or evidence to support their claims, regardless of the proof or evidence which is contrary to their libel and slander. These people are worse than any religious zealot, any radical or extremest. Why? Because they honestly do not know what they are doing is wrong, and have no guidance where as zealots, extremists and radicals are doing what they do because of their beliefs which they knowingly understand and accept.
 
Yes, I’m saying that an Islamic terrorist is a better being than these people. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, nationalities, and political affiliations. And who knows, maybe I’ve got it all wrong and those people who have diametrically opinions and views to me are right and are doing the best for the planet and I’m the one whom is described above. I highly doubt that though.
 
So yeah, when You tell someone “Illegal Alien” and they reply “immigrant” – You can be assure you’re either talking to a dumb-ass, or someone as I described above. Either way, I hope life is just that much better for you!

Safe Spaces, Entitlements & The Internet

First off if you think I’m going to denounce any violence and negativity on the internet, you can alt-f4 right now.
[EDIT: I would like to say here that this article does not target groups of people for being different, or endorse hate for these groups, only that there is more than enough room for improvement from everyone, and these are the areas where improvement can be made. ~Jeremy]

I am sick and tired of hearing about safe spaces.  Get over it.  The world is inherently NOT your friend.  This is doubly true online.  Social Media / Social networking is a scam.  There is nothing social about it.  Unless that’s truly how degraded the world has become that people saying things with ambiguity and or even of no relation to any subject for which butt-hurt bubble children are offended can be taken as a threat of the end of the world.  Yeah, about that too, You might be that important to you, but until You make yourself that important to everyone else, by works and actions, You’re simply not important.  You are not the world and you never will be if you don’t get out of the cardboard box that you pretend is an ivory tower.

I don’t care what you uncle has done to you.  I don’t care what sexuality you have.  I don’t care if you feel like a woman stuck in a man’s body.  But when you shove it in my face, damn straight I’m going to fight back.  Safe spaces.  What a load of bull crap.  When I was a kid, my safe space was in my mom’s arm.  That stopped when I was about 8 years old.  Am I butt hurt about it?  No!  Why? Because that’s the natural, healthy thing for a child.  Being coddled well into adulthood is absolute nonsense and needs to stop.  You need to grow the fuck up and stop acting like a spoiled little bastard.

Queer, Fagot, Gay.  Words which had nothing, historically, to do with homosexuallity and the sexually deviant.  But now, – OH but now, this will most certainly be the first post I’ve made that will have comments on it.  Why? Because I said those three words.  Again, get over it and grow up.  Here’s some definitions for you to learn:

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queer
kwir/
adjective
adjective: queer; comparative adjective: queerer; superlative adjective: queerest
  1. 1.
    strange; odd.
    “she had a queer feeling that they were being watched”
    antonyms: normal
    • Britishinformaldated
      slightly ill.

verb

informal
verb: queer; 3rd person present: queers; past tense: queered; past participle: queered; gerund or present participle: queering
  1. 1.
    spoil or ruin (an agreement, event, or situation).
    “Reg didn’t want someone meddling and queering the deal at the last minute”

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fag·ot
ˈfaɡət/
noun
noun: faggot; plural noun: faggots; noun: fagot; plural noun: fagots
  1. a bundle of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel.
    • a bundle of iron rods bound together for reheating, welding, and hammering into bars.

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Full Definition of gay

  1. 1 a :  happily excited :  merry <in a gay mood> b :  keenly alive and exuberant :  having or inducing high spirits <a bird’s gay spring song>

  2. 2 a :  bright, lively <gay sunny meadows> b :  brilliant in color

  3. 3 :  given to social pleasures; also :  licentious

  4. 4 a :  homosexual <gay men> b :  of, relating to, or used by homosexuals <the gay rights movement> <a gay bar>

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I don’t give a shit if these words offend you when I use them.  As long as I use these words in a respectful way with an intention of a proper definition and without being derogatory, then you’re being offended over nothing.  Or more so, over English Language.  Notice how there are many other definitions for each word?  Yeah, probably not because you’re lacking a proper education.  I’m sorry that you’ve been failed as a child,  but you’re an adult now and need to take responsibility for yourself.  Stop trying to dictate your lifestyle and your idiocy upon everyone else.

Now I suppose that if you, the reader are still with me,  You are either educated enough to not be offended, or you’re super pissed off right now and are thinking of ways to harm me or my reputation in a legal way, or possibly illegal way.  What ever, do what you feel like.  I’ve said my peace.

Does this mean I inherently hate the homosexual community?  NO.  It don’t.  It means I’m fucking tired of people pushing their own bullshit on me because they feel like that my sole existence is offensive to them.  And I’ve done not a damned thing to be offensive, other than be alive.  If you feel so insecure that you need to run away from me to be in a safe space, then you need to stay off the internet.

Oh, but you’re a LBGTSA what ever other letters you want to add to that, programmer and exist on the internet?  Well, This is part of the real world now. Pull up your pants (or your skirt I guess, guys), grow up and DEAL WITH IT.  You think us straight normal people don’t have shit to deal with?  We’ve got retarded assholes that can’t handle somewhat stressful situations complaining that they’re entitled to being treated better than everyone else.  And not all of them are homosexual or trans.

I have stress in my own life.  I’m working to build myself as an income generating person (i.e. Not working for anyone else, but solely for myself) And that’s fucking hard.  Am I screaming at society, saying that I’m entitled to have things because I am me?  No.  Would society laugh in my face and tell me to go away?  Most assuredly, Yes.  Why?  Because society does not intend to support me when I am a capable and able person.  That’s just the most recent stress.  How about all the unfinished things I’ve got around the house?  Family members being in hospitals, and others going through shit that would make you take a shotgun to your face – And doing with as much grace and gratitude as is possible in their positions. That wears on me – but I’m not begging society to keep me safe from the facts that death happens.  I can’t help these people, I’m not God, except in my own special little world where I wake up from every morning.

Do you know what I am entitled to?  I am entitled to being allowed to live.  I am entitled to being allowed to make my own way in this world.  I am entitled to breath the air, drink the water and shit.  That’s all.  Everything else society has come together and said, “You know, it would be nice if we had cleaner, cooler air in our homes; to have clean water delivered on call to our homes; to have waste removal and processing so we don’t live in feces”  And because of society, we have these things.

And it just occurred to me that these man-child people don’t know what society is.  It is not a thing.  It is not government.  It is not some person in office dictating errata.  No!  Society is all of us.  It is the largest group of people to exist.  We are in an age of global society.  But we still have national societies, broke up into smaller groups right down to that society called family.

Here’s another definition for you, this time specific to the definition for which I am using:
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so·ci·e·ty
səˈsīədē/
noun
noun: society

  1. 1.
    the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community.
    “drugs, crime, and other dangers to society”
    synonyms: the community, the (general) public, the people, the population;

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This is something I feel has been lost in general.

I do have to apologize for this post as I have allowed myself to be emotionally driven to write this.  As such, there may be errors in grammar and use of words I would otherwise not have used in a post on BluntAboutIt.com – This said, I am not going back to edit this and truly hope that those who are offended by this post may learn something from the words I have written and become less obsessed with being offended and maybe, just maybe, get pissed off enough to stop trying to hide from society and the responsibilities of being a member thereof.  Safe Space, Entitlement, The fuck is this? Nazi Germany?  Get over it. You’re not being hunted down like Jews in the holocaust and you’re not getting shit for just being.  The same as I get nothing for just being.

~Jeremy